Thursday, August 25, 2005

Who Knows

Wow, so this is my first entry. I don't even know what to write. There's so much I want to say, I need to say, but I just can't find the right expressions. I'm going through a lot in my life right now. Well it started long ago, but I guess since I didn't do anything about it for so long, feelings lingered, multiplied, and are now out of my control. I wish I could make everything go away....or just some things. I just want people to understand who I am. But I guess it would help if I knew that first. I can't just go jump in and assume everything is going to be fine. I feel like this is so dumb, what is it going to accomplish, me writing all these feelings. There still going to be there when I'm done. Ready to torment me again. I wish I could speak so many different languages. I love it. I really must learn to speak Amharic. It's such a beautiful language. I want to finish the school year. I also just need to feel inner peace with myself, but I don't know how to get there. I know everything I should do, but I just lack in the know how to get myself there. I want to get involved in all the things I missed out on. So much. I don't want any relationship, I just want everyone to love me, want me. Should I sing? Should I study? Thank you Jesus Christ, for giving me all these talents. I'm so thankful, truely. I must look up how to speak other languages. God, did not give me all these talents to waste. I must use them. To His glory. AMEN!!!!! THANK YOU GOD, FOR LIFE, FOR EVERYTHING! PRAISE HIM!